Unmasking Myself: A Midlife Autism Journey Through Burnout and Self-Discovery

Of all the things I thought might end up on my midlife bingo card, discovering that I have autism wasn’t one of them.

But like so many late-diagnosed women, I didn’t look autistic by most people’s standards. I was high-functioning, accomplished, and hyper-responsible. I’d spent over a decade thriving (or so I thought) in fast-paced, neurotypical work environments—until I hit a wall I couldn’t push through anymore.

Burnout wasn’t new to me. But this time, it felt deeper. Unshakable. Like my whole nervous system was in revolt.

After another cycle of pushing myself past my capacity, I realized I couldn’t keep doing work that required me to suppress who I was just to survive the day. I made the decision to leave my job and build a business on my own terms, one that works with my brain instead of against it.

That’s what led to Calm Ops Studio.

But the real journey began long before that, when I became a mother.

My firstborn came into the world extremely early, and we knew he might face challenges. His earliest diagnoses were developmental. But as he grew, we began to notice the markers of autism: sensory processing struggles, difficulties with social communication, and highly focused special interests. By age 10, he had a formal diagnosis.

And slowly, a lightbulb started to flicker on for me.

At the time, it was my (then) husband who gently pointed out that I had sensory issues, too. He wasn’t wrong. I’ve always struggled with certain textures, get overwhelmed in noisy environments, and crave order and calm like oxygen.

I thought I was just 'quirky' or 'introverted.' But it turns out, those traits had a name, and they weren’t just personality quirks. They were signs.

Once I started listening to women share their late-diagnosis stories, I saw myself reflected over and over again. I took every online test I could find. All signs pointed in one direction.

Here are a few ways autism shows up for me, many of which now inform how I structure my work and support my clients:

Social Exhaustion & Masking

I used to think I had social anxiety. In reality, I was constantly performing: smiling, small-talking, trying to follow social rules that felt confusing and exhausting. After any interaction, I’d need days to recover, something I now recognize as a shutdown response.

Sensory Sensitivities

Bright lights, unexpected sounds, clutter, and textures can quickly overwhelm me. That’s one reason I’m so drawn to creating visually calming, organized spaces, both physically and within business systems.

Bottom-Up Thinking

I need to understand the whole picture to do my part well. I ask lots of questions, not because I’m confused, but because I’m building a framework in my head to make sense of the details. Once I get it, I can improve systems in ways others might not see.

Direct Communication

I’ve been called blunt, intense, and hard to read. But I value honesty and clarity. I prefer to say what I mean and mean what I say. If you ask me a question, I’ll give you a real answer. That shows up in how I support my clients, too: with compassionate directness and clear, actionable plans.

Routine + Special Interests

My routines are sacred. They’re what help me regulate and function. And my special interests? They’re deep dives into psychology, organizing, and neurodivergence. I could talk about them for hours (and often do).

Living for four decades without knowing I was autistic meant I spent much of my life trying to force myself into systems that weren’t made for me, especially at work.

I adapted. I masked. I excelled… until I couldn’t anymore.

That realization didn’t just lead to uncovering my autism; it led to a new way of living and working. I started Calm Ops Studio to support other neurodivergent and creative entrepreneurs who are trying to do business in a way that honors their energy, nervous system, and way of thinking.

Formal diagnosis is long, expensive, and often inaccessible. And for many adults like me, it’s not necessary. Self-diagnosis is valid, especially when it’s informed, resourced, and rooted in deep self-awareness.

If you’re curious, some of the books that supported me in this process were:

• I Think I Might Be Autistic by Cynthia Kim

• Unmasking Autism by Devon Price

Knowing about my autism hasn’t limited me; it’s liberated me. It’s helped me understand my needs, advocate for myself, and create a life and business that supports who I truly am.

And if you’re on a similar journey, whether you’re in burnout, unmasking, or just trying to build a business that doesn’t hurt, you’re not alone.

You’re in the right place.